Here’s a tip that will quickly improve the communication in your relationship. We’ve surveyed hundreds of couples and the area they most want to improve is communication.
What’s the most important part of communication in a relationship? Listening. Most people are great at making their point but are not great listeners. Why is it so hard to listen to each other? Many times, it’s because it feels like giving in.
It’s very important to understand that listening is not the same as agreeing. When most people say the word, listen, what they really mean is agree. How many times have you heard "You're not listening to me." What we think that means is "You're not agreeing with me." And, sometimes we're right. For those of us with kids, when we say you're not listening, what we really mean is you're not obeying. Hearing someone is not the same thing as obeying them. And, allowing them time to state their case without arguing is not the same thing as giving in. It’s a lot easier to hear your spouse if you remember that listening is not the same thing as agreeing.
When your partner feels heard and understood, it can very quickly diffuse a tense situation. So give it a try today. You may just end up feeling closer to your spouse.
If you’d like more tips on improving communication in your relationship, click below. The StrongMarriageNow Video Course includes a chapter of four videos on Communication including, Couples Communication, Listening, Speaking and Fighting. You can see previews of the Communication chapter and the other chapters in the course. Check it out:
And remember, listen to each other.