Do you feel disconnected from your spouse? Do you feel as if you are a “husband” or a “wife,” a “mother” or “father,” but somewhere along the way you stopped being just a “man” or a “woman?” Have you started looking at your spouse as a roommate and not as a lover? Do you even know who you’re married to anymore? Well, according to Dr. Dana, get ready to find out!
Spending Time Together Is Essential
When we’re married, we spend a lot of time together as husband and wife with friends and family, paying bills, taking care of the home, interacting as a couple. We also spend a great deal of time as individuals in our separate jobs with separate interests. Many of us spend a lot of our time as a mom and a dad, playing with the kids, enjoying family outings. But most of us spend very little time as a “man” and a “woman” together.This is often at the root of many of the complaints that bring couples to therapy: “We just don’t feel connected anymore,” or “He doesn’t pay enough attention to me,” or “She’s always mad at me,” or “We aren’t having enough sex.” When I hear these complaints, I know for a fact that these things are happening, in large part, because among their priorities, spending time alone together as a man and a woman is usually last on their list.
It’s All Easier When You Have Regular Dates
I have worked with many couples and I’ve asked them to do many things to save their marriages. Yet, I have noted that it is easier to get people to sell their homes or quit their jobs than it is to get them to go on a regular date as a couple!
Schedule at least 8 Hours
Per Week of Time Alone Together
Today, I am asking you to get out your calendars and schedule at least 8 hours per week of Time Alone Together with your spouse. Do it!
To learn more about Spending Time Together as a Man and a Woman using our online videos and downloadable exercises, check out our StrongMarriageNow System.
Best marriage advice: Have you recognized the importance of Spending Time Together Alone as a Man and a Woman in your relationship? How has it helped? Please comment below.
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com