For some strange reason, people have this assumption that sex drive starts to fade with age – that as couples get older, sex just becomes less and less important to them, and eventually they just stop without any fuss.
WHAT!?!
That couldn’t be further from the truth!
In fact, many couples grow more sexually connected after middle age and beyond. This happens for a wide range of reasons, but we’ll get into that in a moment. First, let’s look at where this myth comes from.
There are certainly some health concerns that can arise with aging that impact sexual health. Low blood pressure alone can have an effect on libido – simply because it affects blood flow to certain parts of your body!
Additionally, problems like chronic pain, arthritis, difficulty with mobility, and even incontinence are associated with old age – and it’s easy to understand how these things could put a damper on sexual activity.
The reality of the matter is, though, that while these problems may be common enough for us to recognize, they aren’t inevitabilities of old age. Simply growing older does not guarantee that you’ll run into all of these physical ailments…
Quite the contrary, actually – most people only deal with a few of these problems as they age, and here’s the kicker: staying sexually active actually helps keep some of these issues at bay!
Now, let’s get back to connecting. As you age, your marriage ages with you, hopefully becoming wiser, more stable, and more honest. In terms of your sex life, this wisdom and honesty lends itself to far better communication in the bedroom about what you like, what you don’t like, what you’d like to try, and so on.
As you and your spouse spend more and more time together, it doesn’t have to be a recipe for staleness, it can actually be quite the opposite. The amount of time you spend together (and have spent together over the years) should lead to a level of comfort and trust that you share only with your spouse – and that comfort means you can open yourself up to them completely. No amount of youthful energy can achieve the intimacy that comes with a longstanding and communicative relationship. Simply knowing each other’s personal chemistry goes a long, long way.
For some couples, though, even if they have a wonderfully honest marriage, it can be tough to talk about sex. If that’s the case, you just have to ease into it! Talk about memories, some of your favorite romps together, or moments that you felt particularly romantic or intimate. You can “dip your toes” into this kind of conversation if you feel bashful about talking specifics. You’ll likely find that once the conversation gets rolling, you’ll feel a littler braver about talking about what you want, what your partner is doing right, and what you’d like to try in the future.
Once you’ve broken the ice a little bit, each subsequent conversation will be easier, and every intimate situation will likely be better because you’ll know more about each other’s desires.
Sex doesn’t decline with age, it declines when you stop making it a priority. By staying in touch with that part of yourself, and being receptive to talking about desires with your spouse, you may very well find that sex later in life is more satisfying than it ever was in your younger days! A strong connection is the most powerful force in the bedroom!
For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out the StrongMarriageNow System today!
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Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com
