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Why Is It So Hard To Get My Partner To Consider Premarital Counseling?

First let me say that I've heard from so many people that have a difficult time getting their partners to commit to going to premarital counseling. They worry that if he/she won't go, that they are not committed to the relationship and they don’t care about their future.

Fortunately, in most cases, this is far from the truth. The fact is that many people are uncomfortable with going to couples or premarital counseling. This is due to many factors:

premarital counselingSome people are more comfortable leaving things as they are rather than talking about and dealing with painful issues.
premarital counseling1Many people are uncomfortable discussing their issues with someone they don't know.
premarital counseling2Many couples counselors are women and their approach to couples therapy is to make the men “more like a woman.” They want him to think like a woman and communicate like a woman and that just doesn't work.
Going to a couples counselor can make some people feel like a failure and can feel threatening.
Some people are concerned about the time and the costs of couples counseling.

Premarital Counseling Alternatives

Here are some alternatives to consider if marriage counseling simply isn't an option for you.

Try seeing a counselor individually to help you learn how you can improve your life and influence your upcoming marriage/relationship.

There are some great marriage/relationship counseling books that you can explore, including, "How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About it" by Patricia Love and "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.

It may be that your approach to working on the relationship is creating more of a rift between you. Many couples are hurt and angry with each other and end up blaming and shaming each other. You may want to try using a kinder, more loving approach to help turn the tone of your interactions around.

Check out some of Dr. Dana's free couples counseling online videosto help you improve your relationship and prepare for your upcoming marriage. People are typically more open to watching something privately on their computer. Many of our customers have felt that being able to access our couples counseling materials online has been extremely useful. If you're interested in a free sample of Dr. Dana’s advice, sign up to get 3 FREE Couples Counseling Videos!

Premarital Counseling - Does it Work?

Let me tell you why so many couples fail in traditional couples counseling - the sad truth is that not all therapists are created equal – Now, I recognize that might sound strange coming from me, but let me explain what I mean: Couples should not go to a therapist that isn’t qualified to do couples therapy. Many people, (and therapists for that matter), don't realize that couples counseling is very different from individual counseling. So much of it is teaching - teaching couples how to truly communicate, how to resolve conflict, how to learn and understand their partner's point of view, etc. In fact, it's when couples’ therapists attempt to be mediators in the room - attempt to judge who is right and who is wrong - that they get into trouble and can actually damage the relationship even further, (the truth is 3 out of 4 couples who go to couples counseling actually end up breaking up!).

Additionally, you don't want the couple to become dependent on the therapist. A good therapist doesn't want their clients to be in therapy forever! And after they’ve stopped coming to see the therapist, the therapist is not going to be standing in the kitchen mediating their fight over who should be responsible for feeding the dog! They have to learn to do it themselves and here’s where, in my opinion, the StrongMarriageNow System is the perfect medium to teach them.

The StrongMarriageNow System is a great alternative to face-to-face marriage counseling and in fact, we’re really seeing that in most cases, watching the online videos in the privacy of your own home and completing the exercises is actually better than most face-to-face therapy. Want to get a free sample of the System and Dr. Dana’s Marriage Success Secrets?
Get 3 FREE Couples Counseling Videos

How To Be Happily Married

Being happily married has a lot more to do with knowing how to be happily married than it does with who you’re married to. If you find you’re in a situation where you’re feeling disconnected and unhappy in your relationship, take heart, things can get better. There are six major skills that couples need to learn in order to have a strong and healthy relationship and marriage. These are:
Spending Time Together
Understanding Each Other
Resolving Conflict
Agreeing on Money Issues
Fairly Dividing Responsibilities
Having a Satisfying and Healthy Sex Life
Couples that are strong in these areas have the best possible chance at having a long-term happy marriage. If you feel like your relationship could use some work in one or more of these areas, take action and sign up for our email list today!

We are often asked if our System can really work if it’s not face-to-face? And the answer is, absolutely! In fact, as we’ve mentioned above, sometimes it works better! We’re really seeing that in most cases, watching the online videos our System provides in the privacy of your own home, along with using our workbook and completing the exercises, is actually better than most face-to-face therapy. Again, this is because unlike traditional therapy, we are not mediating a truce between the two of you – instead we are offering information – teaching you the skills you need to learn to make your relationship, your marriage, a happy, successful one.

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Before you go any further, check out Dr. Dana’s free Couples CounselingVideos to Fix Your Relationship! You’ll get proven advice to get your relationship back on track.

So if you are feeling as if your relationship needs help, if you are seriously considering premarital counseling, before you go any further, first, TAKE ACTION, and sign up to get 3 FREE Marriage Success Secrets from Dr. Dana today!

Common Questions & Answers

About Premarital Counseling

“How do we connect again as a couple?”

In the StrongMarriageNow System we talk in depth about what we call The Most Important Lesson. We point out that most couples do not spend nearly enough time alone together. Most couples spend as little as one hour a week alone together; the average couple with kids, sometimes none. The average couple having an affair can spend up to 15 hours alone per week. Isn’t that unreal? I recommend that couples spend at least 8 hours alone together every week.

“What about infidelity? Is a relationship over after an affair?”

We answer this question at length in our teleseminar, but let me just say that the answer is: Absolutely Not! A relationship can be saved after an affair, if you both commit to forgive, get the relationship skills you need, and commit to work together on the relationship thereafter.. In fact, the relationship can not only be saved, it can be made even stronger and happier than ever before!

“What about Christian Premarital Counseling? Catholic Premarital Counseling? Other Denominational Premarital Counseling?” is compatible with most faiths, religions and walks of life. The StrongMarriageNow System teaches principles that honor marriage: love, commitment, honesty, trust and connection. Dr. Dana teaches that we all have choices in how we think, act, and behave and she gives you the tools to make more effective choices. She also teaches that we can choose our attitude towards our life and our relationships. Dr. Dana is empowering and thought-provoking. We are not affiliated with any political organization.

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Some of you may have been in pain in your relationship for quite some time. The only way to make it stop is to TAKE ACTION and get your FREE Premarital Counseling Videos! Begin to apply Dr. Dana’s advice to your relationship right away!

Three out of four couples who learn and apply Dr. Dana's
Marriage Success Skills say they WANT to stay together

You'll hear real-life stories from people just like you who took action, applied Dr. Dana’s advice and turned their relationships around. You can follow in their footsteps, end the pain and have the relationship of your dreams! Get Dr. Dana's Relationship Counseling Videos Today!

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