This coming Friday, December 6th, 2013, Dr. Dana is paying a visit to the Steve Harvey Show to offer some insight on a topic many couples have trouble with: bickering.

Bickering is a little different from “regular” arguments because it has more to do with general irritation than a specific topic. Bickering is when you’re arguing for no reason, when the conversation turns tense without any real provocation. By definition, bickering is arguing about petty or trivial things.

Couples can struggle with this bad habit (and poor communication) at any stage of their relationship, whether recently engaged or married for decades!

Now, the “textbook” definition of bickering may sound like it’s only when you’re fighting about things that aren’t important, but even when the topic is important – you can still be bickering. It’s all about how you argue.

It’s hard to describe, but it’s a feeling we all know – bickering happens when you’re already irritated, when the argument turns into personal attacks, when you can’t go a day without fighting about the same old topic.

There are plenty of reasons why this happens, but the two most prominent are overall lack of communication skills and simple selfishness.

Bickering can happen when two members of a couple don’t listen to each other. For the person speaking, it can feel like talking to a brick wall, and this only leads to irritation (and the bad habit of trying to drive a point home through constant repetition).

When opinions and feelings aren’t shared effectively, the same issues will arise time and time again without being solved. The problem is self-perpetuating – when you bicker, you don’t solve problems, and when the problems never get solved, the bickering becomes more and more frequent.

Talking is only one part of communicating. For couples to really understand one another, they need to listen.

The other major cause of bickering, selfishness, is as simple as focusing entirely on your own needs instead of your spouse’s (or the collective needs of the family). Bickering about who takes out the trash or what time to put the kids to bed is often an act of stubbornness – you fight because you want it to be your way.

Even if it doesn’t seem selfish at a glance, it is. Demanding that things be done a certain way, refusing to compromise, or only seeing a situation from your own point of view can all lead to unnecessary arguments.

On Friday, Dr. Dana will be sitting down with a few REAL LIVE couples to help them overcome their struggles with bickering and lack of effective communication. Be sure to watch for more in depth insight on how to communicate more effectively!

Find the channel and airtime for your local area here: https://steveharveytv.com/watch/

For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out the StrongMarriageNow System today!
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Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com