Maintaining the close, loving, supportive and fun marriage we all want is not easy and sometimes we make mistakes when we’re annoyed or irritated that can push our husbands away from us. Do you find yourself slipping into any of the behaviors below? Try Dr. Dana’s suggestions for the new way and watch how differently your husband responds… You’ll be amazed at how quickly things can change. You can fall back in love.
Spending very little time connecting
How much time a week do you spend with your husband just connecting and chatting with no TV, phones involved? One of the biggest mistakes couples make is neglecting quality time. That’s where your love is nurtured, that’s where you can grow together. That time alone together helps us understand each other and feel the affection, love & passion we all want from our husbands. Make an effort to block out parts of your week to have some fun together (go on a long hike or bike ride, play with the kids, or work on an enjoyable home project that interests you both. And be sure to schedule a regularly date night. If you can make it a priority to spend at least 8 hours a week alone together, you’ll see your love blossom again.
Criticizing him when you’re disappointed
How we handle disappointment can either bring you closer together or drive a wedge between you. In any long-term relationship, we’re bound to get hurt sometimes but handling that hurt in the right way can make all the difference. Do you find yourself rolling your eyes, yelling or stomping around when he disappoints you? It’s very likely he didn’t intentionally mean to disappoint you and being critical and angry can only create distance between you. Instead, give him the benefit of the doubt. Try laughing it off, making it work with what you have or kindly asking him to go back. Being understanding and loving and asking for what you need is a much more productive way to handle disappointment.
Do you find yourself ignoring your husband? Do you acknowledge him when he walks in the door? Do you listen attentively to what he’s talking about? Paying attention and listening to your husband is a way to show him you care and that you want to understand him. It’s the best way to diffuse disagreements and feel close again. Resist the urge to be planning your retort when he’s saying something. Make sure he really knows you heard him and you’ll feel more affection between you. A nice benefit of this is that he’ll be more likely to listen to you!
Dismissing the importance of physical intimacy and sex
Did you know that most men feel loved through physical touch? The reason sex is so important to them isn’t that they just want to get off. Having sex helps them feel close and connected to you. It helps them feel loved. Many women make the mistake of thinking we’re just an object and that sex doesn’t matter. It’s very important to a marriage. It’s what differentiates husbands and wives from roommates. Sex is a vulnerable, intimate act that helps strengthen your bond as a couple. Even casual physical touch like holding hands, hugging and a kiss when he comes home can help show him how much you love him.
Even if you or your husband aren’t feeling the love right now, trying these behaviors can show your husband you care. So please, spend time together as a man and a woman. Communicate in a kind and loving way and ask for what you need, listen to him and show your love through physical touch. You’ll be amazed at how quickly the dynamic between you can change.
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For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out the StrongMarriageNow System today!
Check Out Our Video: How To Regain the Love, Rekindle Passion and Save Your Marriage
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com