You know that 80 year old couple that’s dancing at the wedding that clearly adore each other and still look madly in love.  Well, those people will tell you that they were not madly in love everyday for the last 60 years.  In fact, there were many times when they wanted to toss their partner out of a window.  We all want to be that 80 year old couple, right?  We want people to say, “Wow, look at them, I want that kind of marriage.”

According to new British research, positive emotions can actually go a long way toward preventing coronary trouble down the line. In their study 8,000 people were asked to look at seven areas of their life:

• Professional
• Familial
• Leisure
• Standard of living
• Sex life
• Sense of self
• and Love

They were asked to rate their satisfaction in each of these areas and what they found was that those who scored higher than average in all of these areas were in fact 13 percent more unlikely to experience heart related illness. Thirteen percent! It’s been well known for some time that negative emotions can contribute poor heart health, but this is the first scientific research to look at the correlation from the opposite perspective – that positive emotions can have an impact, as well.

With this information taken into account, why then should anyone allow themselves to feel trapped in an unhappy marriage? The StrongMarriageNow System was created to give couples the tools they need to create and maintain the marriage they’ve always wanted. Research indicates that 86% of unhappily married couples that stay together and work on their marriage report that they are much happier later on in life. On the other side of that coin, when you take a look at all those that give up on their marriage in favor of a divorce have their financial resources, their households, and other aspects of their lives essentially torn in half – this certainly does not help contribute to a happier state of mind.

Being Happily Married is a Learned Skill

There are six major skills that couples need in order to have a strong and healthy marriage. Learning these essential skills can be the key to creating the happy marriage you’ve always wanted, which can in turn help relieve a lot of the stress prevalent in your life.

• Spending Time Together – The most important thing that you can do to feel more deeply in love and truly enjoy each other again.
• Understanding Each Other – How to resolve conflict, how to learn and understand their partner’s point of view. How to communicate effectively with each other.
• Resolving Conflict – Resolve conflict with confidence and end the fighting in your relationship.
• Agreeing on Money Issues – Get on the same page about money and how to work together as a team to achieve your dreams.
• Fairly Dividing Responsibilities – Stop nagging and stop resentment and have peace in your home.
• Having a Satisfying and Healthy Sex Life – Drastically improve your sex life.

How Humor Can Help Your Relationship

Laughter is a potent cure. A marriage may not be 100% “perfect,” but couples that know how to lose the “serious face” and are comfortable introducing fun back into their relationship can certainly have an easier time of it. Real life can be a serious business, but allowing yourself a little embarrassment and some vulnerability can go a long ways toward lightening the mood. Doing that – remembering to laugh – while at the same time being mindful of the things that can trigger negative emotions can establish the happiness in your life and in your partners life that we are talking about. Keep your parner’s mood and sensibilities in mind when trying not to exacerbate a situation. Some triggers can swiftly move a situation from bad to worse:

• Teasing
• Speaking sarcastically
• Mocking
• Being overly critical
• Accusing
• or Judging

Monogamy can be hard and sometimes even annoying.  If you don’t have a sense of humor in a relationship, you’ll kill each other.

This is just one way in which your mood and your emotions can play a major factor in your relationship with your spouse. Your mood is actually your choice. Choose to focus on all the things you appreciate about your spouse and your life. Focus on the positive and increase your level of happiness.

Click here to learn more about the StrongMarriageNow System. Then head over to RealAge to read more about the study. Dr. Dana Fillmore, creator of the StrongMarriageNow System, is the featured relationship expert at RealAge. Stop by the Love & Sex Center.

Wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness!

Dr. Dana and Amy
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